Friday, July 20, 2012

The First Date

Despite having more than a few first dates in my time, though none in the past decade, the recent events of a good friend have me dwelling on a subject I’ve not yet covered. Dating.

Going through transition, you do get to get a second chance at childhood, well at very least, relive puberty, good and bad.  Females to Males (FtM) get to experience muscle growth, body hair and facial hair growth, and an increased libido that rivals any generic teenage boy. The Male to Females (MtF) notice the softening skin, reduced body hair, and breast development. Those are key things to each individual and things most often thought of by the general public.

But there’s a lot of other firsts that come along after surgery, some big, some that would mean nothing to the average person. The first swimsuit appearance (yes we fear it as much as the average woman), the first orgasm, the first doctor’s appointment at a general practitioner, the first kiss, the gynecologist,……………………………………

As an adult there’s always excitement of that first date, but nothing compares to being a teen and facing the nerves, good and bad, that come along with that first date. Being on the boy side, I completely remember the nerves. But I also distinctly remember my best first date ever, July 17, 2006, spent at Salisbury Beach. I wound up seeing her for over eight years. There was even a period of time when I thought for certain I would be married to her eventually. Guess I passed the first date. Strangely on July 17 this year, I knew the date was something important but couldn’t remember what it was. Last night it dawned on me, when our dear friend Jennifer, had HER first date.

Several times, I mentioned I was living through her vicariously. It was part humor, but very much part truth as well. Jen being the shyest of my inner circle, makes me personally look really out going. I’m not. I’m just more outgoing than my old self was. But when it comes to dating, she’s miles ahead of me. She had a true first date last night. And I felt her nerves sixty miles away. The same things any girl would go through, especially on a first, first date. What do I wear? What do I say? How do I look? What if he doesn’t show? OMG what if he tries to kiss me? How do I kiss back? etc.

Without trying, it’s just like being a kid all over again, only you get to try to correct the mistakes you may have made as a kid. But this time from the ‘other’ side. Not easy. Not fun. Not sure if I’m really looking forward to it. OK, I am, but certainly not the nerves that come along with it. If the date is with a woman, I’m sure I could tough it out a lot easier just praying old habits don’t creep in at any point. But if it was with a guy, I don’t know if I’d even know where to begin to handle that stress. Who am I kidding, I'd probably spend the night in the ladies room crying, LOL

It seems so strange to be in my forties and honestly think about the intricacies and nerves for a first date. Yes, divorced people usually make the leap smoothly. But in a totally different mind and body…….The challenge scares the daylights out of me.

I’m one of the people that helped pulled Jen out of her shell. She had a great time last night and it went smoothly. Hope I can learn to listen to my own advice when the time arrives……..if I don’t get stood up……..

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