Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Two Years Gone

Originally posted on January 26, 2010

Two Years Gone

Current mood: nostalgic

I'm finding it hard to believe that two years has gone by. As I figured, the flashbacks throughout the fall weren't nearly as strong as they were last year, though they were still there. Even through the month of January, it didn't weigh too heavily on my mind.

But Saturday the 23rd, I had a small payback get together for the girls that went to Montreal for support. I even made it through that without a hitch or concern. My biggest concern was my friend Mary having a health related surgery on Monday.

But Sunday the 24th, would have been exactly two years to the day that I left. And it hit HARD. Granted, being Sunday and with the NFL championship games being played, it felt much more like Sunday January 20, 2008. The day the first Telegraph article was printed.

But the somber feelings and nerves were back harder than I had ever anticipated. The weather was almost exactly as it was on January 24th 2008 and ditto on the 25th. The dark cloudy rainy day, brought me straight back to Montreal 1/25/08, lying on the bed, watching the Mardi Gras Hotel (Las Vegas)fire.

I still wish I had the entire thing on dvd, so maybe I could enjoy it this time. It was two years ago today (26th) that Carrie, Linda, Michelle & Gail came up to join me (Karen & Corey too) It's simply a calendar matched with a state of mind, but it does incredible things to your psyche and it's not pleasant.

I've literally spent the past three days nerve wracked and today just absolutely sick to my stomach. One thing I'm fortunate for, and little did I realize in 2008, but I had a great writer and one of the northeast's leading news photographers documenting my trip. Not too many are that lucky. I can at least reflect with a few pictures and written documentation. Funny, I almost deleted that post by Karen to the Yahoo group, a group I'm proudly no longer a member of. But it caught my eye in the unread deletion process and fortunately it just caught my eye and I rescued it.

I'm also very thankfully I blogged every day in Montreal and one year later, daily follow up. The thoughts, feelings and story can never be replaced. But they do still strike when I least expect it.

I will return to Montreal next month. This time, paying it forward, and going to bring a friend back from her surgery. Strangely enough, two years ago, Anna said she looked up to me as an big sister (despite her being older). I'm honored I can help her out. But I'm also making a trip back for myself as well.

I certainly hope Year Three Anniversary passes better than years one or two. My stomach, mind and nerves can't take much more of this.

Two years gone, and the emotional tidalwave hit me all over again. Where's the dvd set? I need to watch it all over again. Damn it, I can't.

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