Monday, February 13, 2012

Tears, Joy, Life & Infection

Originally posted on April 15, 2008

Tears, Joy, Life & Infection

Current mood: pleased

The week started off horribly with the news of Shane's untimely passing. I was also feeling a lot of physical pain, I simply figured the one hour walk I did at Saint Anselm College, was too much, too soon. The recovering surgical area was certainly not happy with me.

Pain or not, I did manage to spend time with a friend Andrea, whom is heading to Thailand for surgery on April 16. This will be the last time I saw Andrea until her return. Then followed it up with a nice dinner with Mayzy. Good luck Andrea!

I've been keeping in touch with new friends that found me via the Telegraph articles. I'm quite pleased the first article introduced me to Jamie, from northern NH , and now Karyn from southern NH. Both at different stages of transition, but both experiencing the same
growing pain, I (we) all go through. Both are music junkies like myself. Any one who likes music as much as I, is always a welcome friend of mine.

But Monday morning, I woke up in immense pain from the waist down to my
crotch. Every internal organ was NOT happy with me, what so ever. I can't
imagine a simple one hour walk could do that kind of damage. I didn't run or
jog, just walked. My head was still in shock/pain over Shane and now my body
was crumbling from underneath me. Sitting, bending and driving hurt like I
haven't felt in over a month.

I did an interview with the window (Karen) for the Telegraph, which will be for the post-op article. I'm not sure when that article will be published. If they go back to their original schedule, I'm guessing it'll be out in early June. But that extra hour of sitting was not a comfortable one. I hope it came out ok. But I have a feeling I rambled.

Tuesday was still more pain, but I worked (sitting), had a therapist appointment (sitting) and made my first return to facilitating the Manchester Outright group, once again more sitting. I was very happy to get back to the group, but that extra sitting, was not fun.

But Tuesday, in order to make sure I could get the time off for Shane's funeral/ wake, I had to swallow my pride and contact a higher up from NEMA, for the first time since October and try to get an idea of the timeline. The call was smooth, but short & sweet. But not one I wanted to make.

Wednesday afternoon, still in pain, I fired off an e-mail to Dr Brassard, describing the pain and
symptoms I was experiencing.

Friday started off with an hour long interview with the Canadian Press, Canada's newswire service. They had read the Nashua Telegraph articles and wanted to learn more. It may mean a trip up to Montreal next week for a few days. I wanted to go in May or June, but hey, late April will still be much warmer than it was in January!

Friday just as I was getting dressed for Shane's wake, Dr Brassard called. He read my symptoms aloud and asked two questions. He immediately said I had a bad infection, as soon as he heard that everything was sensitive to the touch. Naturally in that area, sitting, bending, wearing underwear etc. touched that area constantly. Hence the constant pain. He had me get an anti-biotic and said in 48-72 hours I'd be feeling better.

Friday was a real test. I was feeling miserable about Shane's wake, for obvious reasons. But it would also be the first time I saw anyone from NEMA, post surgery. Not the time, place or occasion I wanted it to be. But I'm 100% Cynthia now and I had to be 100% Cynthia there. Selfishly, it added to the days drama. Racers being a macho group, how were they going to take to all out Cynthia?

My heart having it's own race as I approached the funeral home. Luckily, the first person I saw was Toni Cabral, and that put me back at ease. I couldn't ask for a better start. I saw quite a few of the competitors and a lot of friends that I missed very much. Everything seemed to go in stride and better than I feared. But seeing Shane's mom, fiancee and grandfather really hurt to see three wonderful, people under such a sad situation. My heart still and always will go out to them.

Friday my bladder had been acting strangely all day and I was beginning to fear the start of a urinary tract infection. Heading home, I got stuck in Boston traffic and just past Boston, my worst fear since surgery happened. My bladder decided it needed to be emptied. NOW. Not the next exit, not at a near by restaurant. NOW. Parking on 93, running into sparse woods just out of Boston, and trying to 'position' in a skirt & heels, was not a joy in broad daylight. I'm used to Shane laughing and smiling, I'm sure he was watching that comedy routine.

Saturday I picked up the prescription ordered by Dr Brassard and hoped it would kill what ever was messing up my bladder or UTI. It did....phew.

The past few days the pain has dropped considerably. Today is 72 hours since I first took the antibiotic. Dr Brassard was spot on. Today is by far the best I have felt physically since January 27 and the best I have felt mentally in 43 years.

Yes, the surgery and down time was worth all of it.

The View From MySpace

I'm sorry you were feeling so poorly, in all ways. Happy to hear you're getting better though and are making some new friends.

You're a strong woman Gurl and you can make it through anything--even UTI's.... remember the chant: CRANBERRY supplement, CRANBERRY supplement....


wow cyn, once again your week encompasses soo much! what a mix of emotions in a short time! I am glad that you have a Dr that, through a simple email, can treat you and hit it right on!! THANK GOODNESS. I hope that the good, wellness feeling you had continues and makes things even that much better for you!! I am sure the kids group welcomed you with open arms and lots of hugs.


Hi Cynthia,
Thank you so much for afternoon with you, it was special for me. But what a week you had, quite the roller coaster. Glad to hear you are doing better. Talk to you soon....Love Andrea

Andrea S.

I'm so glad you're feeling better and have the infection under control.

I can completely relate to your fears of showing up at the funeral 100% Cynthia and the reactions some might have. I tend to fear the worst, too, and find myself often pleasantly surprised. My therapist even commented once I talked with my parents and found my fear unfounded that I was a complete basket case about coming out with them and that I worry too much. Still, not knowing how others will react, well... the imagination runs wild.

I'm really looking forward to seeing you this weekend at the conference!


I'm so glad you're feeling better. You've had a really rough week or so. I was hoping to be able to see you for dinner tonight, but I am willing to wait until you feel up for it! Let me know!


So glad you are feeling better, Sunday (Saturday) will be a busy day, I hope all goes well!


Hey girlfriend. Glad to hear that you are recovering and good call calling Dr. Brassard. I wanted to let you know that I heard from Andrea today. Her surgery is complete and went well. She was a little groggy so was short and sweet anouncing that IT"S A GIRL!. Our thoughts are with both of you during your recoveries. Lots of love Judi


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