Thursday, February 16, 2012

Life In A Square Circle

Originally posted on June 17, 2008

Life In A Square Circle

Current mood: blah

First, thanks to everyone for the birthday well wishes. It was very much appreciated.

Second, congrats to Andrea on her safe surgery and return from Thailand and to Karyn on her name change. Proud of both of you. Now I need some good news out of Jamie's camp.

One recent Tuesday while getting my nails done, a subject came up that reminded me of some of the mischief my friend Steve and I used to get into just after graduation. In telling some of these stories, I realized I hadn't seen Steve in almost a year, and a life long friend was going to be surprised, with some changes to myself. When it came to mischief, Steve was usually the instigator, me the enabler. Funny because Steve's parent's used to be kind of restrictive with Steve, but if I was going wherever, then they had no problem with Steve going. I also told the girl that looking back, it's lucky Steve & I are still alive. LOL

Wednesday was the interview with Natasha Hall on Montreal radio. It went ok, she seemed inquisitive and upbeat about the subject at hand. I was a bit nervous at first, but was getting better at keeping answers down to sound bites by the time it ended. I was told it was going to be 45 – 60 minutes, but it wound up being 30 minutes. I also thought it was going to be based more on Dr Brassard and Montreal itself, but it basically was a recap on the Canadian Press article.

Friday night while working at Newbury Comics, out of the blue, the above, mentioned Steve came in. Talk about strange luck. I told him how I had just been talking about him. He obviously never mentioned the changes but I could see a bit of confused look in his face. But as left he left one of his last comments about the mischief fun we had was "We're lucky we're still alive" How true it is.

I've been trying to get back to basics though. I've been out of touch with a lot of people. Some for a few years. Some for a few weeks. For some reason, my energy level has been tapped for the past month and a half. I've been for tests and things look fine, but I'm ungawdly tired no matter how much sleep I get. It may be time to put Newbury Comics into the past. But if I've been out of touch, it's not you, it's just me. What little free time I get, my energy level is nil. I'm sick of feeling tired and sick, but I just can't shake it.

I did attend an all day seminar that was put on by the NH Mental Health Counselors Association, which was put on as a continuing education for therapists. It was Advanced Studies for the Treatment of GLBTQ Clients. I figured I might be in over my head, but I wasn't at all. I guess the "school of life"taught me more than I thought. I did have a great time and made some great contacts. I do see a major career change coming. It's just a question of when.

Yesterday while out doing errands, the XM 80's channel had a rebroadcast of a Casey Kasem American Top 40 from June 1986. Just proving how much music really is the soundtrack to my life, hearing a lot of those songs brought me back to a lot of fond places, people and times I had forgotten about. It also brought back memories of the repressed depression I was holding in back then. That was around the start of it all. I knew it, but no one around me did. I now look back and just remember how miserable I was, and how thankful those times are past. Granted I miss some of the people, and some of the times that I could have enjoyed better, but I know they are best left in my previous life.

Granted I was 16 when my idealistic life came crashing into reality (1980 SUCKED) But it was late spring/early summer 1986, that I can honestly say I went from the harsh reality of being a kid to being an adult, and it was a rough period. But thankfully I survived. I'm still kinda shocked that I did, in hindsight.

I need to stop looking back and just face forward. The sun is much brighter and warmer in that direction. But damn, the past sneaks up when I least expect it.

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