Friday, February 10, 2012

The Epilogue

Originally posted February 10, 2008


Current mood: bummed

Well I've been home just under 72 hours now. The two weeks in Montreal seem like a distant memory, almost like it was a dream. I would imagine the pain killers and sleep that I got in Montreal has a lot to do with it.

Amusing to me is, I've lived in my house for over nine years, but that first night home, I woke up in the middle of the night and hadn't a clue where I was. My mind was telling me I should still be at the residence on Montreal.

I'm still strongly missing the nurses at the residence. They were all wonderful and feel like family to me. I think about them quite often. They've made a major impact on my life. But I'll see them again. I want to see Montreal in warmer weather and I'll be sure to visit the residence.

But I also want to pay my good fortune forward and will someday accompany someone up to surgery so they don't have to be alone. My body has not only changed in Montreal, but I believe a lot of my priorities have as well. You never can truly appreciate a call, an e-mail, a card, a text or a comment as much as you can when you are far away and feel alone. My friends are now my priority. Helping others will also be a priority.

Amazingly the racing community stuck by me, for the most part.. If there was a group I thought I'd lose it would be them, but some people from the TVMRS, ISMA, NEMA,, Oswego Speedway and Star Speedway kept in contact. Thank you.

The people from the printing company I work for were great and kept my e-mail busy. Angela (my sweetie) from Serendipity Day Spa also kept me smiling.

Strangely enough, three former Newbury Comics employees also kept in constant contact, but not one single current employee took the time to write "Get Well" or "Miss You". Nothing. Gee, I've only worked with you for six to eight years. Considering I've bent over backwards for quite a few of them, I don't know if I should be more hurt or pissed off. I'm honestly debating if I should even bother returning. I should have retired from there instead of NEMA.

Physically each day seems to get better, though today I'm a bit more swollen. I can walk for short periods and sit for short periods, but if I do too much, I pay for it. Friday I needed a few essentials and was out for 45 minutes and that knocked the daylights out of me. I have errands and people to see this upcoming week, but I am dividing them into small sectors so I don't do too much at once. I need not a trip to the hospital because I over did myself.

Mentally, I'm bored as can be. I'm a workaholic. I have to be doing something at all times. TV, the internet and reading can only keep me occupied for so long. I'm bored. I can very easily see what the experts meant about post surgery depression. I am conscious of this and am trying to not let it set it in. But it does win at times.

The Nashua Telegraph did the second of the "In Transition" installments today. this one features a local support group, where I know quite a few people and I'm an infrequent visitor. But maybe it's time to go back and help the others. Time to pay it forward.

The View From MySpace

Dear Cynthia,
Take it easy! Life will still be humming along once you are ready to get out and tackle it. Focus on healing right now. And remember, it's winter in New England, everyone (except Lola!) is bummed, depressed, blue and feeling caged in with wicked cabin fever.

All my love,

Coe is right, as usual, about everything (including me and the winter!) And don't you dare give up on those New Com kids yet. They need you around, whether you believe it or not, and they may not even realize just how much. Life is what happens when you're not paying attention and sometimes our dramas make it hard to see the big picture - believe me, I know, I've been there, and still end up there from time to time.

Hang in there - better days are ahead. The whole rest of your life filled with better days, as a matter of fact. We love you and are here for you!


Just logged in after a long time. Congratulations. I'd lost track of where you were in your journey.

I'm sure I can't liken pregnancy to your surgery, but I'm going to anyhow. I'm a workaholic as well, and I did too much too fast and had to slow down - things that were healing beautifully started to rebel. Don't make the same mistake.

Actually, I didn't learn from mine, and now need to learn to slow it down again.

So don't be as dim as I am.



I did get a chance to payback as promised. I was able to help a friend Anna, by driving to Montreal in a blizzard to bring her home. I spent ten days in Montreal with my friends Karyn & Diane, and in that time with Karyn made another good friend, Jennifer. It was well worth every minute of it. Their words will be posted at a later time.

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