Originally posted on September 8, 2008
Clothes & The Past (Thanks Hanna)
Current mood: touched
For a weekend that was supposed to be spent in Thompson, CT, I actually accomplished quite a bit. The remains of Hurricane Hanna spoiled any racing for Saturday and a phone call from Mike Douglas Saturday evening, informed that the new motor wasn't ready and we wouldn't be going to Thompson on Sunday.
Wednesday after returning to work and reality, I came home as Rudy Giuliani was speaking at the Republican National Convention. I had no desire to watch or listen to any of the RNC but just as I went to bed Sarah Palin began speaking. I had been impressed with her credentials but when she began speaking, I had a whole new interest. Unlike Hillary, Palin spoke to me and like a human. Hillary liked to speak in a forced, phony, screeching tone. Not to mention, Hillary was extremely condescending when she spoke.
Sarah Palin, whom you would think the feminists would be proud of. But the next day I found the feminists hated her. Guess in order to impress them you must dress and look like a man. Goodness forbid you actually had children and a career! Guess some people will never be pleased.
Being a New Hampshire resident, home of the first primary, it's easy to get burnt out on presidential elections, as the candidates have started campaigning here two years prior to the primary. Plus my being home in recovery from surgery for a month in the heart of the primaries, I was at the point that I never wanted to hear the names Clinton, Obama or McCain again. Sarah Palin has re-sparked my interest.
Funny enough, one to the transgender Yahoo groups I belong to, but have been contemplating leaving, had it's leader post some anti-McCain propaganda. It was quickly followed by a Palin bash by another member. I had to stir the pot and post a few pro-Palin rants. It got a debate going which got kinda heated. Of course the above mentioned leader complained about the negative tones things had taken. Forgetting that she started the whole mess.
A few weeks back while on vacation, I had been looking for a coat I couldn't find. I went to a basement closet and found a shock. All of my old dress pants. I thought they were long gone. Someone at Goodwill will hit a goldmine as they were all immaculate and like brand new. Over time I had been cleaning out clothes, I had donated two full garbage bags full to TSHavenHouse, and I had given quite a few to some off the guys at Newbury Comics.
One my first day home from Oswego, I got fed up with my closet being over stuffed. I decided I could use the room in the closet that the pants previously used. I took out what I thought were going to a handful of John's shirts. Turned out to be many, many more than I had anticipated.
Saturday, seeing Thompson was rained out, I had planned on organizing my bed room which is like having 20 lbs of things in a 10 lb bag. I got the closet straightened out, and went to make better use of the storage bins under my bed.......I found yet more of John's shirts I had forgotten about and a box full of shoes and boots. I could have used those boots last February and March when I was still quite tender from surgery. But I had forgotten there were there. Things could have been easier if I knew they were there......
I also went through various cards from pre and post surgery. I also found the note Karen & Corey had left me immediately after my surgery, which I found the next morning.
I think over the years I collected so many clothes because being raised by a single parent, although I was always dressed neat and clean, times were undoubtedly tight. I had also kept a lot of John's clothes simply because what if I had chickened out of surgery or something had made it fall through. At times, during my real life experience, I tended to dress up a little more,
trying to help pass as Cynthia. Even my friend Carrie chastised me in Montreal for not dressing down more often, LOL.
But I guess there's no going back now, but sometimes it's still difficult to let go of some of the past. Clothes are just a small reminder of that.
Today I did more work around the house. Note both days I spent doing things that I thought for sure I would accomplish in my recovery time off.....little did I know, LOL. "Thought" being the key word.
But I took some time to go into my playroom, lay on the futon and watch some of the Patriots game. Memories came crashing back. This was the first time I had done that since January 20. The day the first Telegraph article appeared. I remember that night before staying on that futon, chatting with members of Racersbored.com knowing that sometime after midnight, Karen's first article would be posted. It was very late but I was very thrilled with the final
results. The next day was spent on that very futon, watching the Patriots vs the Chargers and the Giants vs the Packers. Fielding text messages and tons of e-mail from friends and well wishers as that Thursday I was leaving for Montreal. Just watching the game today from the same location brought me right back.
I would have thought those memories would have dulled by now. I'm starting to believe they never will. I just wish I could have appreciated them better as they happened. I hope they remain this fresh for the balance of my time.
ADDENDUM ADDED 2/19/2012
It was but a few weeks later that I learned to dislike Sarah Palin, like everyone else. LOL
The View From MySpace
Oh Cyn, I love you, but Sarah Palin????? No, no, no, no!!! She and her right wing religious zealots will have people like you outlawed. PLEASE keep doing you're homework and re-think this!!!!