The one year review originally poster on January 27, 2009
January 24, 2008 (Part THREE, see Part two above)
Current mood: cold
Brigitte and Doreen brought me up to my room. 206. The house was absolutely beautiful. Everything was brand new, shiny. tastefully decorated and immaculately clean. It felt very much more like being in a home, than any type of a medical facility. I had a few minutes to get things together and then dinner would be ready.
I called home, to let my mother know I had arrived safely and to make sures he was ok. She sounded back to normal, thank goodness. But I wasn't.
The pressure, the panic, the realization, the "oh my god, I'm really here" had added up and bitch slapped me. I had a brief breakdown but was quickly called down to dinner.
There I met a couple from New Brunswick and a older lady from Indiana. The couple from NB had elected to stay another day, just in case. This was the best thing that could have happened. I liked these two immediately. The girl whom had surgery was almost two weeks post-op, and the girl from
Indiana was about a week post-op. This gave me great opportunity to not only hear what I had to look forward to, but visually witness it as well. There were two patients currently at the hospital, due to return the next morning.
After dinner, I went back to my room to get a bit settled, plus the other patients had dilation's to get done, but we had agreed to chat in the wonderful living room at the home afterwards. Back in my room, fell back into the depression I had earlier. Despite the fact that I was really happy that this reality was here and the that Gail, Carrie, Linda & Michelle were due to arrive in about 40 hours, I felt incredibly alone. The stress of the years of getting there, the day actually getting to there, and everything else just overwhelmed me. I completely broke down. I was alone in foreign country and heading for surgery. Granted I was only in Canada, heck I might as well have been in Vermont or Maine. But I broke and slowly started
getting my things in order. this was my home for two weeks. Might as well get comfortable.
I went down stairs, sat and chatted with the three ladies from dinner,Brigitte and Doreen whom had just gotten off duty. With each passing moment, my fears left me and I really started to feel at home. the
conversation covered everything from our home lives, music, sports, politics, the home, Dr Brassard, surgery and life itself. Doreen went home, Brigitte back to work, the new gurls up to rest and a new friend, a genetic female and I chatted a bit longer.
But eventually I headed up to bed and to finish organizing. Loneliness and fear set in again. I spend sometime chatting on Racersbored and via IM but couldn't sleep. I had been offered a sleeping pill but declined, but finally came to conclusion that I was going to need it. I went and found Brigitte, and got the pill.
Back in my room (the whole house is wi-fi) I spent some time IMing with Lisa Patnode, whom thankfully keeps late night hours!
Eventually we signed off and I finally drifted off to sleep. To be woken up very early by the best text message I've ever received.