Originally posted December 6, 2006
Bizarre Few Days
Current mood: high
The upswing continues on a daily basis. A girl at work whom never gives me compliments, Sue Orr, late last week commented that I looked better than half the women in the place. And that I was setting the bar high, for them to keep up.
Saturday night, I went to a racing banquet thanks to the Mod Chick Mafia. It was my first appearance at any sort of racing function, since the name change and in total Cynthia mode. I was ungawdly nervous, but thanks to Michelle, Linda and the 23 crew, I made it through ok. A few unusual looks, but nothing bad.
Sunday night, was the Newbury Comics Holiday Party. I was very early in arriving due to a NEMA meeting in Connecticut that afternoon, ending earlier than expected. Seeing no one else from my store was there yet, I had my cards read. Last year the reading, said and meant nothing. This year the lady was dead on. She talked about major changes I'm going through and a few seconds later, she said "Wow, you would have head my head spining one year ago" Well 53 weeks earlier, I started hormone replacement therapy.
She continued on and stopped suddenly and said you just had another huge change very, very recently. Well it was less than three weeks since my name was legally changed. She carried on about how these changes were long overdue and will prove to be the best decisions of my life.
She also noted that it took a break up of a relationship, for me to see the big picture and move in the proper direction. And that I'm making this change despite a huge oppostion of someone that has been completely over bearing (Hello, Helene) but it's still in my best interests to follow through. She also said that I've lived my entire life for the whims and desires of others and to please the others (Hello, ISMA, Lee, NEMA, Oswego etc) but that I'm finally calling my life, my own.
If the above paragraphs didn't hit the nail SQUARELY on the head, nothing will.
Sunday night, I was in a great mood and decided that Monday I was going to break the Holy Grail. Monday morning, I wore my first skirt to my full time job. The positive feed back and tremendous hugs I got were simply amazing. I have never, ever been the recieptiant of higher praise for the way I looked or was dressed, than I did on Monday. Amazingly I felt great and like I had been doing it for 40 years.
Monday the same girl at work who never gives compliments, said that my dressing up had better not put an end to the casual dress code we've had at work the past few years for my somewhat dressing above the norm.
Today, just as I got into work, our fairly new receptionist. Debbie, stopped me to tell me she went shoe shopping last night. She figured since I had been getting around great in heels the past few weeks, I was making the rest look bad and she needed to get back to wearing heels to work! Yes, she admitted I was responsible for her upgrading her clothing.
Tonight I had my hair cut at my usual place, where I absolutely love going (Alternaive Sun behind
Spider Bite). I love the girl who has been cutting, dying and styling my hair the last few months. She's not only really cute, but I simply adore her personality. Kinda makes me regret the changes, despite the fact that she's too young for me! She and the other girls that work there (some do my nails, waxing or tinting for me) always are giving me great comments. No wonder I love it there. My ego inflates everytime.
But tonight as I was leaving, she was eying me up and down repeatedly. She exclaimed she was really jealous of me, but couldn't go into details as she was already late with her next customer. But that she would explain when I'm in there next week (nails). But the way this younger and prettier girl was looking me over when she made the "jealous" comment, told me only one thing.
My past is indeed gone and my future is now. Looking brighter every day.